


Baby Blues

by defeatedbyabridge



Category: Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 04:58:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defeatedbyabridge/pseuds/defeatedbyabridge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Six Gokaigers. One baby. Who'll cry first?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Blues

"No," Marvelous-san says flatly. "No, Gai. We're not looking after a baby."

Luka-san looks up from her magazine and does a double take. "There's a baby in there? I didn't even realise there was a *Gai* in there!"

Gai grins nervously at her through his tiny eyehole from under the pile of nappies, bags, bottles, wipes, rocking horse, swing, copious notes, colour-coded containers of baby food, blankie, cradle, toys, spare clothes, spare clothes for the spare clothes, spare clothes for *him*, oh, and his tiny cousin, Mai (he'd suggested the name). "It'll all be okay, Marvelous-san. Uncle just needed help for the day. I'll even help Don-san make curry rice for lunch as a special thank-you, if he doesn't mind?" he bargains.

Marvelous-san brightens. Luka-san points out sweetly, "That means someone else'll have to watch the baby."

Marvelous-san growls, but as he's about to speak, Gai's pile teeters to one side. Then it totters to the other. Gai catches sight of a green blur streaking towards him from the doorway, arms outstretched, but the pile goes everywhere and so do Gai and Don-san. Luka-san deftly grabs the baby, holding her up out of harm's way, then settling her against her shoulder, tiny bottom on Luka-san's left forearm.

Don-san sits up, rubbing his head, as a tiny grey suit (it has a duckie on it. Gai likes duckies) falls off his shoulder. There's mess *everywhere*."Why didn't you two help him quicker?" he grumbles at Marvelous-san and Luka-san.

Luka-san shakes her head. "Helping Gai is always where the trouble starts," she says, most unfairly. The baby makes a squeak, and Luka pulls back a little to look into her face, with her own softening into a smile. 

"Then it's settled." Marvelous-san's voice is characteristically brisk. "Luka will look after the baby, Don and Gai will cook, Joe and Ahim will presumably come back from shopping at some point, and I'll go take a nap."

Three baby toys bounce off his forehead from three different directions.

* * *

Don's holding up a container with a bunny on the side and alternating between looking at that and one of his cookbooks when Ahim and Joe return. "Gai, do you think she'd like mushed rice?" he asks doubtfully.

"Would anyone?" 

Ahim says from the kitchen doorway. "Oh, Hakase-san. How adorable!" 

She flies over to Gai's side and drops down next to Mai in her little stroller. Mai studies her intently, then belches. Ahim grins, then plonks her shopping bags down on the counter so she can pay Mai proper homage. Don can hear Joe and Marvelous' voices in the main room.

"She's seven months old," Gai says proudly.

Ahim nods, reaching out to take Gai's hand. "I'm so happy for both of you. I know you'll make excellent parents." 

Don freezes.

Gai freezes.

"She's not ours," Don says at last.

Ahim looks from one to the other, then laughs.

Gai scratches the back of his head, and Don watches the concept work its way through his brain. Gai is many things, including smart, enthusiastic, and brave, but one thing he is not good at is hiding what he's thinking about. (Don finds this endearing.) "Ahim-san, you really think we'd make good parents?"

Ahim smiles like a sunrise. "Definitely." She gets up and begins making tea. Don plops himself down next to Gai, occasionally showing him possibilities from the book. He wants to make Mai-chan something nutritious but *interesting*.

Joe arrives, humming under his breath, and starts putting away the contents of his bags. He turns at one point, reaching past the stroller to place the polenta in the low cupboard underneath the sink, turns back to the bag, then pauses. He swivels, rice still in his hand, then his eyebrows go up. "Ah. Congratulations. You two will make excellent parents."

* * *

Ahim takes Mai-chan for a trip up to the crows nest, in spite of Don-san's protestations about it being too high. She holds the little bundle close, a respectable distance from the edge. She hasn't held many babies before, at least not without being on state visits and having the parents fussing anxiously two inches away in case the baby behaves, well, like a baby."Look, Mai-chan, we're so high!" 

Mai-chan squirms, and a splot of dribble lands on Ahim's hand. She wrinkles her nose, and realises Mai-chan is chewing on something stringy. "Oh, dear, one of Joe-san's hairbands." 

Ahim removes the hairband. Mai-chan begins to squawk, but GaoLion appears from nowhere,and Mai-chan's eyes and mouth turn into three little round 'o's. He leans his great head close, rumbling an enquiry. "No, not Don-san's and Gai-san's, GaoLion-san," Ahim says, grinning. "This is Mai-chan." 

Ahim holds her up a little. GaoLion huffs gently, blowing their hair around. Mai-chan squeals and flaps her hands enthusiastically. 

* * *

There's some kind of whirling cavalcade of horror in the middle of his ship, involving Gai, Don, Ahim and Joe trying to assemble the high chair while Luka puts plates on the table. Somehow Marvelous finds himself holding the baby.

He has his hands under her armpits, inspecting her as he holds her straight out in front of him. She inspects him back. There's something dangling from her nose. 

Marvelous sighs, and finds a scrap of tissue somewhere. Never let it be said that he is not resourceful. 

She begins scrunching up her nose, which at first makes him suspicious, because he has played his share of poker games and he knows people with tells like that.

"Luka?" he calls, voice querulous.

"Find something to do with her," Luka tells him as she heads back into the kitchen. She comes out again with a big steaming bowl held in both hands. "Babies aren't that hard. Y'know, I bet Joe she'd make you cry within three minutes." 

Oh, that couldn't be borne. Joe's busy holding Don upside down by an ankle while Gai and Ahim thump him on the back, and the chair currently looked like it extended into twelve or thirteen dimensions. Marvelous doesn't interrupt, just narrows his eyes as he paces, still holding Mai-chan in front of him. 

He lifts her over a chair back as they squeeze past, and he wonders vaguely what Don had swallowed. Hm, she seemed to like being lifted into the air. He tries again, lifting her higher and faster, and gets an actual gummy smile out of her. He's not at all embarrassed by his return smile. He's a manly man. Of course he could manage babies. "You're not so difficult, are you, small human," he says gravely, lifting her over his head then bringing her down to his eye level again.

She laughs. She actually laughs. And promptly spits up on his shoulder. 

"She hasn't even eaten anything yet!" 

Luka's voice, followed immediately by a white cloth thumping him in the face. Marvelous tucks the baby under an arm and begins rubbing at the off-white goopy mark on his shoulder. "There wasn't much," he says glumly. "Don can get it out." 

"Don can what?" Don says in a strangled voice from where he's currently lying on the floor with Gai bouncing on his back. 

* * *

The chair is eventually assembled, with whatever part they'd retrieved from the inside of Hakase (Luka really didn't want to know). Hakase'd made an assortment of baby foods that actually. . . "Hey, that looks better than our food," Luka protests, reaching out for a breadstick on the edge of a bowl of brightly-coloured dip.

Hakase smacks her fingers. She gives him an injured look, then they both reach to the side and grab dishes that Joe and Gai's demonstration flailing had knocked off the table *this* time. 

Mai-chan whacks the tray on her high chair. "I know, little one," Luka sympathises. "I get annoyed when they interrupt my dinner, too. At least you'll probably end up with less food in your hair than Joe." 

Gai and Joe turn identical faces of outrage on her. She shrugs and deftly spoons a glob of mush into Mai-chan's mouth.

* * *

When dinner's over, there's a smell coming from somewhere that has Marvelous unfairly blaming Navi, Gai blaming Luka's socks, Luka threatening Gai's life, and Ahim stepping in between them hastily. 

Don waves a hand, then points at Mai-chan's lower half, perched on his forearm. She's squirming, and has a chubby fistful of Don's hair.

The room clears, leaving only Gai and Don staring forlornly at each other and Mai-chan gurgling on a bunny rug on the floor. "I've done it before, but only code yellow," Gai says. 

Don nods. "It can't be that difficult. Everyone does it, after all."

'Everyone' doesn't do it down one leg and up the back of their outfit. Don and Gai stare in horror at the carnage, then they sigh and get to work. Gai finds a new outfit (green, in gratitude). Don carefully detaches the old one and sets it to soak, then they both get to work with baby wipes.

When they're finished, they've used nearly an entire packet of baby wipes, and they've had to change their own clothes too, but she's clean. 

Navi squawks, "You two would make excellent-"

Gai speculatively eyes the balled-up bag of nappy and wipes. Navi subsides, muttering something about people who are ungrateful about compliments. 

* * *

They've managed for most of the day, but now Mai-chan's clearly fretful and irritable, and doing what they usually do to calm down Marvelous ("Oi!" says Marvelous) doesn't work. 

"Joe hasn't tried yet," Don says cheerfully, desperately, at last. 

The main room is littered with the debris of their attempts. She's had bottles. A turn on her swing. Luka's walked around holding her and singing. Ahim patted her little bottom in her cot. Gai played out an elaborate scene with shadow puppets about a heroic silver alligator faced with all sorts of problems. Don rocked her. Marvelous even had a long, serious chat with her about her obligations. The light's been on, off, at half, similarly with the gravity.

Joe looks up from his sit-ups. "I've helped," he protests. Don's not convinced, but Joe lists off a number of things he's done over the day, and yes, he's helped. But not *directly*. Joe starts to feel worried.

"Hold her," Don instructs, basically simultaneously with Luka, and with Gai's pleas.

Marvelous overrides them all with a terse instruction to Joe to not be an asshole. Mai-chan ignores everyone and keeps grizzling, more than a whimper but not quite a full-blown cry, while Gai continues to stroke her hair. 

Joe frowns at them. "I'm not good with babies." 

"How do you know?" Ahim enquires.

Joe shrugs, and goes back to his sit-ups. "I've never held one. Of course I'm not good with babies."

Ahim smiles, and Joe feels the trap lovingly close around him. "I'd never held one alone until today, either, Joe-san. I'm sure your skills are most certainly up to the challenge, and you could not make matters any worse. Please?"

Joe's head comes back up again and he sighs. It's best not to mess with Ahim. Ever. 

Ahim lifts Mai-chan out of the cot and walks her over to Joe, depositing her on his chest. Joe's arms come up automatically to cradle her against him, and the grizzling stops. 

"Finally," Marvelous breathes. 

Her little hands are working at his front, kneading almost like a cat. Joe freezes, obviously afraid to move, but he has to admit she's quite. . . nice to hold. Comforting, even. He begins stroking her back. 

"Now you just need to stay there for," Gai leafs frantically through his notes, "for about two hours," he finishes.

"What?" Joe hisses."I have things to do! Exercise! And I might need to pee at some point!"

"Two hours, Joe-san!" Gai repeats cheerfully as he shoots out of the door like a freshly greased fish from a cannon. 

"Thanks, Joe," Don seconds, close behind. 

Marvelous salutes, and is next. Luka laughs on her way out. Ahim smiles. "You'd make an excellent parent." 

She leaves, too.

Joe sighs. He sighs again.


End file.
